I had a big disagreement with a close friend of mine over an issue of the past that I brought up into the present. I was always bringing up issues of the past and on this day, my friend had enough and said, “We are no longer friends.” I apologized but my friend was hurt and needed time to heal. I was a little hurt too but I also felt angry that my friend was cutting me so deeply. That jagged wound forced me to work with my guides and find the lesson in the experience. Once I took off my rose colored glasses, looking into the mirror revealed a reflection that required deep healing. Though I’m part of the healing journey of others, I have my own lessons and am constantly growing, just like everyone else. I’m not exempt from doing my own healing work, in fact I have some very intense contracts that I signed on for in this life
When we struggle accepting the past of others, we need to ask ourselves if we are in fact struggling in accepting our own past. What I learned was that it was not my friend’s past that was the issue but rather the acceptance of the choices and experiences in my own past that were the issue for me. I had difficulty acknowledging times when I didn’t really love myself, situations when I failed myself, and experiences when I relented my own personal power to others. The reflection uncovered in the mirror was one of failure and weakness and I mourned on the inside. As I shed the tears, the layers of my ego associated with those experiences peeled away like protective leaves over a flower bud.
I learned that the past is part of the soul journey–good, bad, or indifferent. We have all signed on for these unique journeys. Some of us had to experience dark times to find out that we are light–this was part of the journey. I had to go through situations of personal weakness, being uncomfortable in my own skin, and powerlessness to find my personal power and love myself unconditionally. All those past experiences were things I signed on for to help me grow, clear Karma, and learn. There is no wrong or right in the past; there is only the needed experiences. If we can accept our own past as part of the soul journey, then we understand that everyone has a past and it is all part of his/her journey–all the soul agreements and situations needed to clear Karma and stimulate growth on all levels. So when I embrace my past on a soul-level, I can embrace that of my friend, and anyone else I meet.
The conflict with my friend was one of the greatest gifts and helped me evolve deeply. When we acknowledge the past as a necessary part of the soul growth and development, we can release all blame, judgement, and any human emotions that we may attach to it. We can see it as vital for our development and a graduation from what we were to what we are now. We can allow the flower bud to blossom fully and share its beauty with the world.