Do Spirits Attend Their Own Funerals?

This question comes up a lot and the answer depends on the spirit.  Sometimes a spirit is ready to go and does not see the need to stick around.  Perhaps all of his friends and relatives have already passed.  But often, spirits do attend their own funerals.  Their reasons for doing so are often very personal.  But they generally involve the need to help loved ones cope with the physical passing.

My father’s friend, Pat, showed up in our house right after his passing, before his funeral.  One of the things he referenced was delight in the fact that the family did not “cheap out on him” with an aluminum casket.  He expressed happiness about the solid cherry one they chose for him.  He said, “Having an aluminum casket was like wearing plastic shoes at your wedding.”  A few days later my father attended the funeral and confirmed Pat’s cherry casket at the viewing.

During Pat’s visit, he brought through a younger brother that had passed many years before him.  The visit was two-fold:  Pat wanted to let his family know that he was happy with his funeral arrangements and he would be at the funeral.  In addition, he wanted his brother on the Earth plane to know that Pat was with his younger brother in the afterlife and that message needed to be shared with other family members, as well.

A very good friend of mine, John, passed after an arduous battle with cancer.  Within minutes of his physical passing, his spirit visited our home.  Like Pat, John wanted his family to know that he would be there with them at the funeral.  For the first couple of months after his passing, he visited with information for his family.  Of course, he conveyed his delight in the funeral. Hundreds of people attended and his wife had a DVD playing continuously in the funeral home lobby and halls with pictures of John and family and friends set to the tune of Frank Sinatra’s My Way.

I delivered his information and requests, which included sending a dozen white roses to his wife exactly one month after his passing. John was a little more demanding in his requests than other spirits and because of our friendship, I could not refuse his requests.  But at one point I reminded him that he needed to move on.  He assured me that part of his task at hand was to make sure his family got through the transition of his passing.  My son had a toy camera that John liked to set-off each time he visited in spirit form.  John asked me to send to his wife. I did (with a tremendous amount of trepidation) mail the camera to his wife.  Seven years later, he still sets the camera off for her and uses it as a way to communicate with his family.

Spirits can attend their own funerals and often do so.  But even after crossing over to the other side, they always have the ability to come to our aid.  So you may want to think twice about not buying those pretty roses for Aunt Edna’s casket, even if she wasn’t your favorite aunt.  Rest assured that the funeral is never really the ending of our relationship with our loved ones.  It’s just the beginning to a new spiritual one with them.  Our loved ones are only a thought away.

Love and light,


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25 Comments to “Do Spirits Attend Their Own Funerals?”

  1. Brenda Mcbride says:

    very well done! can i ask you, does my dad know i miss him? I cry a lot and i wonder if he knows!
    and, can he see us throughout the day?
    Many Thanks, Brenda

  2. Thank you for your kind words, Brenda. Yes, our loved ones are always connected to us and they know how hard it is for us to manage the grief process. He is not always hovering over you because everyone has things to do on the other side. The souls continue to learn and are assigned tasks and jobs. But he can be there when you need him.

    Love and light,

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hello Anysia, how does one become a medium. Is someone born with it? I saw a ghost when I was little and it scared me so much that I had to pray for it to go away. I don't see them anymore just feel them around sometimes. My father apparently had died and came back to life and ever since then he's been seeing ghosts everywhere. Is this 'gift' only occurs when some has near-death-experience? And do they pass this gift on their children?

  4. Hello,

    Your question is one that I am often asked. I do think that mediums who are meant to teach others or use their abilities fully in this life are born with the abilities developed. They can see, feel, and communicate with spirits from the time they were toddlers. This has been the case for me, my sister, and both my children.

    However, I also hold the belief that each of us has the ability to communicate with our passed-on loved ones. I have documented much of these type of experiences in my forthcoming book called The Medium In Each Of Us.

    Everyone has the aptitude for psychic awareness. It seems that you and your father are a bit clairvoyant, which means clear seeing–able to see things with the that others may not be able to perceive. Your ability to feel spirits is clairsentience, which is clear feeling of energy. You should view the article on here called “What Is a psychic?” I have heard of abilities being awakened after near-death experiences, although it is a not a requirement for the abilities to develop.

    Mediums have all psychic abilities fully developed and they are also able to directly communicate with spirits. Most mediums of this sort are born with these abilities but that does not preclude others from developing these abilities over time. I hope this helps. If you need more information, please let me know.
    Love and light,

  5. Anonymous says:

    Hi Anysia: My Mother passed away Oct. 1st. At the funeral my son's girlfriend (that says she can see dead people) said that she saw my Mother there and there was a bright light all around her. Could this be? Also, just before she passed away I asked her to send me a signal that she way okay after she passed. I think I have seen the signal several times. Could this be as well? Thank you

  6. Thank you for your questions. As you know from the above article, spirits often attend their funerals. It is quite possible that your son's girlfriend did in fact see your mother, although I cannot confirm this for you since I do not know her or her level of clairvoyancy. If you asked your mother for a signal and you have received it, you should be thrilled that she took the time to send you this confirmation. You may want to read the following article It discusses signs at length. Good luck in your continued spiritual relationship with your mother.

    Love and light,


  7. Anonymous says:

    Dear Anysia, my cousin was murdered 16 years ago. He was 15. My biggest regret was that I had never actually told him I love him. Shortly after his death, I had a dream that he was in my yard. I ran to him and told him I thought he had died and to never scare me like that again.I hugged him and told him I loved him. He sadly told me he loved me, too. A few weeks ago, I dreamed of being chased and suddenly he was there. I stopped running and just looked at him. He was smiling at me. I said “just let me touch you…” I hugged him and cried and said “I miss you so much.” He just hugged me and smiled, never saying a word. I later had another dream that we were at a family gathering but I was the only one who knew he was there. I told him to go talk to his dad, that his dad would be so happy to see him.

    My question is: are these just dreams, or is it possible that my cousin has visited me, once to let me tell him I love him, and later to let me hug him and just to show me that he's happy and he's ok? I want so much to believe he came to me, but maybe they were just wishful dreams.

  8. I am so sorry to hear of your cousin's passing. Murder is so violent and leaves a deep hole in the lives of those who loved and knew the victim. But one can only take the physical life of someone because the soul is eternal.

    The difference between an ordinary dream and a dream visit is the vividness involved. When you wake from a dream visit, you feel like the person was actually there with you. The details of sights, sounds, feelings, and words are all easily recalled upon waking. You can find more information about dream visits by viewing the following link on this blog.

    I suspect from the details you have included as well as the timing of the dreams that these were in fact visits from your cousin. These visits are deep acts of compassion from our loved ones and should be cherished always.

    Love and light,


  9. Anonymous says:

    Hello Anysia, my friends father just died on the 11th, and I was wondering on how I can get in touch with him. Is there a certain prayer I must say?

  10. Thank you for your comment. There isn't a specific prayer, but you will want to protect your energy before reaching out to communicate with any spirits. The following blog article lists some helpful steps in reaching out to passed-on family and friends

    Love and light,


  11. Anonymous says:

    Hi anysia..
    I think your ability to know this stuff is amazing. My mother recently passed away 2 months ago .. she got hit by a car she was only 42 and I'm 19. It's been very hard on me and my family. I always read about spirits visiting the home they onced lived in. Is this possible ? I haven't experienced any signs of her being back at my home.. but I can just feel her there sometimes.

  12. I am so sorry about the passing of your mother. I'm sure this has been difficult for you. Sensing and feeling spirit is a psychic ability called clairsentience. It is very possible for your mother to visit you and other family members. Her spirit lives on and will always be connected to you. You can use your mind to ask her for a sign and you can also invite her to visit you in a dream. I hope you find peace in your heart.
    Love and light,


  13. Brooke says:

    Hi Anysia,
    I just made a comment but i dont know if it went through…so here's me desperately asking for the best help and advice you can give me. Well you see, my cousins birthday was on the 24th of this month and he died 2 days later on the 26th, 2 days ago. He is now 19 and his girlfriend is pregnant with the baby he will never get a chance to know. And today was his funeral, yesterday was his viewing…my Papa said he saw flashing lights and this is how he knew my cousin went to heaven…can this happen and if so, does it mean he went to heaven? But more importantly, im here for the best help and advice you can think of….my cousin and i grew up together…im a 15 year old girl, so hes about 3 years older than me. We were so close. We did everything together. We loved each other as much as any cousin could, and personally i loved him like a brother. My family is REALLY taking it hard. It hasnt been easy this past week. I know people say let them rest in peace or if you love someone, let them go, but heres the thing….i just cant…i love him so much…this is why im asking for your help. I need to get in touch with him. Ive invited him to my dreams and asked him for signs, but so far, ive noticed nothing. I need to know if its possible to get in touch with him while im completely awake and concious. By this i mean, be able to hold a complete conversation with him and maybe even be able to hug him or hold his hand.And would i be able to do this alone, without proffessional help, like in my room?Anysia, i know this is a lot to ask, but i am in great need of your help. And also,it's probably too much too ask, but is there maybe a cell # i can text you with in case i cant find any other way to contact you? Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I really need your help.

  14. I am so sorry for your loss, Brooke. I know you are having a very hard time with your cousin's passing. You ask a few questions in your posting and I am hoping to answer all of them in my response. First, yes, flashing lights can be a sign from our passed on loved ones. There is an article on here called “Signs from Spirits” that discusses spirit signs in greater detail.

    It will take time for you to heal through this loss, but in time, you will be able to form some method of communication with him. It may be telepathic, or through signs and symbols, or it may be through dreams. There is an article on here called “Is Everyone a Medium,” that covers the topic of communication with our loved ones.

    You will have to wait until he is ready. If you ask him with your mind, to send you a sign to let you know he is ok, he will send one. But he will send it when he can, not when you want him to. When they cross over, they have to transition and are not always readily available to us. This does not mean that they do not want to connect with us, it means they are busy and will connect as soon as there is an opportunity to do so. Please see the article called “Jobs on the Other Side.”

    As far as the baby is concerned, just because the father has passed, it does not mean that the child will not know the father. Babies are very open to spirits. Often children can point out and name passed on-family members in photos, though the family members passed long before the children were born. For more information about this, please read the article on this blog called, “Are Children Open to Spirits and Energy.”

    I know it is hard for you to let him go, but you need to because he is needed on the other side. You will always have a spiritual connection with him. You will feel his energy around you. When you ask him for advice, he will send you an answer. You have to accept that the physical relationship is no loner an option–no more hugs. But you can always have the spiritual one because his soul is with God and is eternal. He is always there for you, just in a spirit form.

    Start with something easy like asking him for a specific sign to let you know he is ok. See the article on this blog called, “Exercise – Asking for A Sign.” Choose something that has meaning for the two of you such as a specific song, etc. Once you get your sign, ask him to use this as a symbol to let you know he is around. Build your communication from that point. Spirits use signs and symbols because we often ignore their telepathic messages. But telepathy is the preferred type of communication for spirits. As you let go of your grief this process will be easier for you. Navigating through grief takes time. I send you light and love on your path as you open the door to a continuing spiritual relationship with your cousin.

    Love and light,


  15. Amy says:

    Hello Anysia, An old friend of mine just passed that I haven't seen or spoken to in many years. I didn't get a chance to let him know that I was thinking about him and that I still cared for him. I was able to attend his wake but did not go to his funeral. Do you think he was able to see I was there? Also how can I make sure that I see him on the other side? Should I ask him to meet me in the letter I read to him (I read about this on your site) or are we able to find each other? Thank you in advance.

  16. Hello Amy,
    I was going to recommend that you write a letter to that friend. I am glad you already found that information on this blog. As I mentioned in the above article, many people view their own funerals. There are also two other articles that you may want to read: “Exercise- Asking for a dream visit” and Exercise – Asking for a sign.” Both give additional ways to communicate with passed on loved ones and friends. They always know when we are thinking of them. So you can send your friend thoughts of love, as well. If you ask for a sign or dream visit, you may be able to connect sooner than later. I hope this information was helpful.
    Love and light,


  17. Anonymous says:

    Really? After going through the experience of death, departure from the body and entering new plane of existance, one is preocupied with cascets and whether or not the family bought more expensive flowers? Interesting.

  18. Good morning and thank you for your comment. The tone of your comment connotes a belief that upon death of the physical body, a spirit would suddenly be elevated to a higher level of consciousness. Just like people on the Earth plane, there are all types of spirits at different evolutionary levels. It does not necessarily follow that at the time of death, all spirits are elevated to the same spiritual level. This is explained in detail in the article on here called, “Jobs on the Other Side.”

    Spirits are often concerned with sending validating signs for their living family members, especially right after they pass. This was the case for John, who wanted his wife to the receive flowers as well as Pat, who wanted to validate details of his funeral for his brother. Spirits can be connected to Earthly events, especially when they involve members of their soul groups. In addition, some spirits are consumed with earthly issues, hence the concept of earthbound spirits.

    I cannot respond to your note about “more expensive flowers” as there is no mention of flower cost in the above article. May you always be held in the light.
    In light and love,


  19. Mila Almanza says:

    Hi, my husband comitted suicide a month ago, he was 21 and we have a 20 month old daughter together. We were separated for 2 weeks but we were about to get back together. The day he took his own life, we fought hours earlier. Now I feel guilty and I want to know if he knows I still love him and if he is mad at me? I dont know, I am confused. So many feelings. I just want to know he is ok, since taking its own life is a sin according to the bible…I also want to know if he visits me? Our daugther saw him twice and would run after him and giggle, is he with us taking care of us? Thanks in advance.

  20. john says:

    i want to say thank for you kinds word about past love ones. I been having a tough time with the loss of a love one that i recently lost. Every day i miss talking to her.
    well thank u for writing or making this website.

    • anysiakiel says:

      I am sorry to hear of your loved one’s passing, John. I thank you for your kind words about my writing.
      I am glad it is helping you navigate the healing process.
      Love and light,


  21. Adam says:

    At my father’s wake/funeral a man in his 50’s (my dad’s age) sat in a chair in the back row for hours. He did not come up to greet my mom and me nor did he talk to anyone while seated. He looked so familiar to us but we did not know who he was. He did not sign into the guestbook and no one else can remember seeing a man that fit the description my mom and I gave even though he just sat there by himself right by those we asked for hours on end. He kept staring at us and looked like he was mourning. We think this could have been an angel that looked completely human. What can we make of this?

    • anysiakiel says:

      Hello and thank you for your comment. I am sorry about the passing of your father. I have heard of this temporary incarnation with angels but it has always be in the case of them helping someone in danger like if someone was trapped in a house fire, a person showed up and helped them to the exit. But once the person exited the house the figure that helped them was gone. It certainly is possible. Angles are divine messengers that help us via their actions, or words.

      Love and light,


  22. […] relationships with passed-on loved ones and accepting a new spiritual relationships.  Often our loved ones attend their funerals to help us navigate the grief, but we  aren’t always open to perceiving their spirits. In a […]

  23. Jo-Anne says:

    Hi, my father passed at 62 years of age in may 2013.
    We had a rough relationship. I think of him everyday and hope he is watching over me? He disappeared out of our lives when I was 5, I am the yougest of 3.