Sudden Passings

Sudden passings of our loved ones can jolt us whether they occur by an accident or some unexpected physical condition.  When our loved ones exit abruptly, we’re left on the Earth with many loose ends that need to be tied. We may feel that their time had been cut short and there were things we wanted to do with them or we may have unanswered questions.  Often we miss the opportunity to say goodbye or perhaps to say I love you one last time.

My maternal grandfather, Pops, passed suddenly. Our relationship had been fractured a bit when he remarried about five years before his passing.  His new wife didn’t care much for his grandchildren. As a result, visits were less frequent and we lost a bit of our closeness.

Late one evening, my mother got a call saying Pops had been rushed to the hospital with a brain aneurysm and was on life support. She raced to be by his side and stayed for several hours.  My mother left the hospital around 2:00am to get a little bit of sleep. She headed back to the hospital around 7:30 am once again to say a final goodbye. What she didn’t know was that Pops’ new wife already ordered him off the life support earlier that morning and my mother missed him in transit.

Shortly after my mother left the house, my father got the call from a neurologist saying that Pops’ condition had worsened and the family needed to make a decision.  Apparently, the doctor was unaware of the wife’s order to take him off life support.  My father urged the doctor to keep him on life support until we arrived.  Then my father called me and said we should go up to the hospital to say goodbye.

As I hung up the phone tears streamed down my cheeks and I felt Pops right there next to me.  His energy vibrated in warm golden glow. “You know it didn’t have to he like this,” I said tearfully.  He said he was sorry for the way he hurt the family and that he loved all of us so much.  I told him that I loved him and then he was gone.

When my father arrived to take me to the hospital, I told him about the visit and that I knew Pops had already died.  He insisted that it was some type of mistake because the hospital was waiting for us to arrive before they would take him off life support.   Ironically, when we arrived at the hospital we found my youngest brother, Kyle, had been there for a couple of hours.  He decided to visit Pops at the hospital early that morning because had a feeling something was wrong. He walked into the room right after they pulled him off life support and found a Catholic priest giving Pops his Last Rites.

When my father and I stepped into the room, we knew Pops had been gone for a couple of hours.  The room felt lifeless with his cold body propped up in the bed. The stark white sheets accentuated his pale-grayish skin.  My mother sat sobbing in a green vinyl chair positioned in the room’s corner.  I was grateful he came to visit me right after he died because the visit to the hospital brought no comfort.

Often our family members arrive by our sides during sudden passings, but we aren’t always aware of these visits.  Our loved ones come to say goodbye and wish us love before they cross over.  If by chance, we miss this comforting visit, there is something we can do to ease our pain and communicate those final words and thoughts to our loved ones. We can write a simple letter and read it out loud.

Write A Letter
Write a letter containing all the things you didn’t get to say to your loved one. Make sure to convey how much you love and miss him.  Sit in a quiet place and read the letter aloud to your loved one. Know that he can hear every word of your letter.

Love and light,


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2 Comments to “Sudden Passings”

  1. Kathy says:

    I have written to you before. I had the 20 yr. old cat named Squeeky that passed. This time ( one day off from exactly one month ago from Squeekys death) my Dad suddenly passed. He slumped over and although he had a pulse for awhile he could not be revived. I have come to your website for comfort. I have not seen nor felt him. I am going to write a letter and speak you suggested..My mom is saddened too of course. They were married 53 years. I’m just reaching out in grief.Thanks for listening. Kathy

    • anysiakiel says:

      Hello Kathy,

      I am sorry about the sudden passing of your father. You can write him a letter and you may also want to ask
      him for a dream visit. Just look on the blog under exercises-asking for a dream visit. Keep in mind that our loved ones cannot get through to us when we are heavy with grief. We must manage our grief and healing before they can send us a sign or symbol because even if they send one, our grief may be too overwhelming and we may dismiss it. I encourage you to keep trying because he will come through for you.

      Love and light,